Why I Hate My Cell Phone Camera

1. Point camera at object. Move and tilt camera until object is mostly in frame.

2. Attempt to get camera to focus.

3. Once camera is in perfect focus, mash down on camera button and hope it will take a picture.

4. Camera either slips out of focus just as picture is taken or goes into video mode. If the latter happens, fumble to get the camera back into picture mode and repeat process.

5. (optional) If the resulting picture is intolerably blurry, you may delete it and try again; just keep in mind this increases the chance the next picture will be blurrier than the first by 70%.

6. Once the picture is finally taken, discover that how you tilted the camera to get the object in the frame resulted in the picture being upside down in a way that no amount of gyroscope-tilting will fix.

Yours Sincerely, The Management

Hey, you! Yes, you. All three of you that actually read this blog! (Yes, I know I'm being optimistic.) I've got good news for you!

It is June 20th. The nights are long and buggy. The days are sunny and thunderstormy and sticky. It is officially summer. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS???

THE AVANT GARDEN LIVES ONCE AGAIN!

ARISE, MY MINION! ARISE! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. So maybe I got a little carried away. But make no mistake about it- the Avant Garden is back, and it will be until school starts up again for me.

In honor of this exciting occasion, I am hereby commencing a Posting Power Hour. From 11:00 PM my time (EST) to midnight my time, I will be throwing up as much weird shit as my faculties and internet connection will allow.

Welcome back to the world of weird.

I should just shave my head

I've grown my hair out some lately. It was a bob; now it's just to my shoulders, and looks kind of awkward, because it's too long to still be a bob. It's outgrown itself. I could embrace the awkward, disheveled look, or I could get a new haircut. Right now it's looking like I may have to embrace it.

I am looking at hairdos, and I am ready to pull my hair out. Seriously. It looks like there may be no haircut on Earth, indeed in the universe, that will meet my constraints. They are:
1. NO SIDE BANGS. Seriously. I like seeing.
2. It should be low-maintenance. For a while I had hair that was past my butt, and I would have to get up an hour earlier just to have time to brush it all out, let alone style it. In that period I think I used up my lifetime ration of patience with my own hair. Now I can't stand to touch it besides brushing and washing. It can do as it pleases.

Not only are all of the hairdos I've found on models with bizarre clothing in avant-garde lighting, but some of the hairdos themselves fail far too epically to be ignored.
This woman looks like she got in a fight with a rogue curling iron. And lost.

If this 'do was supposed to make the afro cool again, it's not working.

Next we have the indecisive cut- To side bang or not to side bang? Meh, screw it, both!

Well, either it's indecisive or the hairstylist passed out midway through cutting the bangs. I'm not sure.

And finally we have this "very sexy" and "incredibly clean" style:

Hang on. That looks an awful lot like a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back!

Way To Miss The Boat!

I always wanted to something really special and awesome for my 100th post. Well, I guess I won't- that last post was my 100th post. Well, there's always the 200th post...

Since this is the 101st post, I feel as if I must include the 101 Dalmatians in this somehow.

Rest In Peace, Dear Friend The Tube TV

You know that TV station I discovered waaaay back when? You know, in this post? (Oh, and that song is in my playlist, second from the top, if you feel the need to hear it.) The Tube TV?

Well, it is no more.

When The Tube's channel number no longer worked on October first, I was mad. I just thought it was another channel that the evil folks at the cable company had yanked on me, like EuroNews. Then I went to TheTube's website, and discovered this:

Dear friend of THE TUBE Music Network,

We regret to inform you of the fate that has befallen The Tube Music Network. October 1, 2007 The Tube ceased its national broadcast.

Viewers, Artists, Music Companies, Investors, Business Partners, TV stations, Cable companies, Advertisers , Friends and our creative partners @Radical Media - your support of The Tube has always been highly valued and appreciated. The collective efforts of this team, fueled by the letters we received from viewers, sustained THE TUBE as it struggled through the financial limitations that ultimately contributed to its incapacitated state.

Thank you for inviting The Tube Music Network into your life.

Sincerely,

The Tube Music Network staff

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Whaaaaaa! I loved that channel! It was like MTV withought all the crappy shows! It was pure music! How can such an awesome idea go under? Is it because the public actually likes the drivel MTV shows better? (oh, right, we already know that)

The Tube was an awesome station and an awesome idea. It's too bad it had to end like it did. I will miss the station very much indeed.

Rest in peace, dear Tube.