I've grown my hair out some lately. It was a bob; now it's just to my shoulders, and looks kind of awkward, because it's too long to still be a bob. It's outgrown itself. I could embrace the awkward, disheveled look, or I could get a new haircut. Right now it's looking like I may have to embrace it.
I am looking at hairdos, and I am ready to pull my hair out. Seriously. It looks like there may be no haircut on Earth, indeed in the universe, that will meet my constraints. They are:
1. NO SIDE BANGS. Seriously. I like seeing.
2. It should be low-maintenance. For a while I had hair that was past my butt, and I would have to get up an hour earlier just to have time to brush it all out, let alone style it. In that period I think I used up my lifetime ration of patience with my own hair. Now I can't stand to touch it besides brushing and washing. It can do as it pleases.
Not only are all of the hairdos I've found on models with bizarre clothing in avant-garde lighting, but some of the hairdos themselves fail far too epically to be ignored.
This woman looks like she got in a fight with a rogue curling iron. And lost.
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If this 'do was supposed to make the afro cool again, it's not working.
Next we have the indecisive cut- To side bang or not to side bang? Meh, screw it, both!
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Well, either it's indecisive or the hairstylist passed out midway through cutting the bangs. I'm not sure.
And finally we have this "very sexy" and "incredibly clean" style:
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Hang on. That looks an awful lot like a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back!